bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
