oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
