id be glad to
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
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