I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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