you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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