And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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