my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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