I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
