This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
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FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
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Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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