She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
