she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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