i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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