elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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