i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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