I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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