Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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