Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
