You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
