Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
