Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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