i just google imaged poop.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
