Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
