Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
