That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
never play flip cup with pint glasses
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
