So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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