So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
