Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
