I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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