Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
