I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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