I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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