it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
