I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
