Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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