We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
it's like heaven, but drunker
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
