i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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