he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
