Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
