and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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