he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize