his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
