I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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