Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
