Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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