i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Drake has all the answers
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
