There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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