Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
