Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
