took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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