you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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