these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
