i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize