dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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