hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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