Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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