so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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