i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
