I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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