i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
