hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
