why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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